350+ Hilarious Jokes and Puns About the Color Green

Last Updated on June 2, 2025 by Johnny Peter

If you’re ready to go green in the most entertaining way, you’ve come to the right place! In this blog post, we’ll explore the world of humor with a fresh and vibrant twist, featuring over 350 green jokes and puns about the color green.

Whether it’s about the environment, food, or just having a “green” thumb, these jokes are sure to leave you laughing. Let’s dive into the greenest humor around!

Green Groans: Plant-Based Puns That’ll Leaf You Laughing

Why did the lettuce win the race? Because it was ahead of the rest!
What do you call a bunch of kale that’s making jokes? A salad comedian.
Why did the gardener always laugh? He had a good sense of humus.
What’s a green vegetable’s favorite martial art? Broccoli.
Why don’t plants gamble? They’re afraid of the stakes.
How do you make a plant laugh? Tell it a root joke!
What do you call an angry pea? A snap pea.
Why did the leaf go to therapy? It was feeling green with envy.
How do vegetables get to school? On the celery bus.
What’s a green bean’s favorite genre? Hip-hop, because they like to rap!
Why are peas so bad at football? They can’t tackle without their pods.
What did the carrot say to the celery? Quit stalking me!
What do you call a spinach that’s telling jokes? A punning leaf.
Why did the cucumber call in sick? It was feeling a little green.
Why are there no jokes about Swiss chard? Because they’re too beat up.
What’s a plant’s favorite drink? Green tea, of course!
Why did the avocado sit by itself? It was a little green on the inside.
How do you turn a leaf into a comedian? Just add a little punch!
What do you call a tree that tells jokes? A comedy evergreen.
Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.
How do you know when broccoli has been telling jokes? It’s always stalking you!
What do you call a green vegetable that knows martial arts? Spinach the fighter!
Why was the green bean always crying? It just couldn’t find its snap.
What kind of music do plants like? Something green, like folk.
Why did the cabbage break up with the tomato? It found out it was a little too ketchupy.
What’s a cucumber’s favorite song? “Let it be green.”
Why do peas get all the attention? Because they’re always popping up!
How do you make a salad laugh? Just add some green onions.
What did the lettuce say to the celery? Stop stalking me!
Why did the spinach never win a race? It kept leaving behind.
What’s the greenest way to tell a joke? With a sprout of humor.
Why was the zucchini feeling down? It was having an identity crisis.
How do you keep a vegetable in suspense? I’ll tell you later.
Why do plants always win arguments? They know how to get to the root of things.
What’s green and laughs at all your jokes? A jolly bean!

Green and Grin: Veggie Jokes That Are a Big Dill

Why was the pickle always worried? It was in a bit of a pickle!
How do you make a dill pickle laugh? Tell it a brine-y joke.
What did one pickle say to the other at the party? Dill with it!
Why don’t cucumbers make good secret agents? They always get caught.
Why was the pickle so happy? It was a big dill.
What’s a cucumber’s worst nightmare? Becoming a pickle.
How do you know a cucumber is sad? It becomes a sourpuss.
Why did the cucumber get promoted? It showed its pickling potential.
What does a pickle do when it wants to relax? It takes a brine bath.
What’s your favorite game of pickles? Hide and brine.
Why do cucumbers love yoga? They love to stay flex-cucumber.
What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
What do you call a pickle that gives you advice? A wise- dill.
Why did the cucumber blush? It saw the salad dressing.
What did the pickle say when it won the contest? I’m kind of a big dill.
Why did the pickle call the doctor? It was feeling a little green.
How do pickles relax? With a good brine.
Why is Pickles a terrible comedian? They can’t find their punchline.
What’s a pickle’s favorite instrument? The dill-do.
Why did the cucumber cross the road? To become a pickle.
What do you call a pickled cucumber with a lot of fans? Pickle Rick.
How do you make a pickle laugh? You tell it a dill-rightful joke!
Why was the pickle afraid of the jar? It was a little claustrophobic.
What do you get when you cross a pickle and a comedian? A real dill-right.
Why are pickles so bad at sports? They always get stuck in a pickle.
How do pickles say goodbye? They say, “Dill with it later!”
Why was the cucumber happy? Because it was cool as a pickle.
Why do pickles always win? They know how to deal with pressure.
What’s a pickle’s favorite dance? The salsa.
What do pickles say during a crisis? “Just dill with it!”
Why do cucumbers always look so cool? They’re in their prime.
Why did the pickle win the talent show? It was a real dill-right.
How does a pickle propose? With a dill ring.
Why was the pickle always calm? It knew how to brine itself.
What’s a cucumber’s favorite exercise? The dill-m.

Emerald Giggles: Jokes to Keep You Evergreen

Why did the tree break up with the bush? It was tired of all the barking.
What do you call a green joke that never gets old? Evergreen humor.
Why did the pine tree make a good comedian? It always knew how to needle you!
How do trees access the internet? They log on.
Why did the tree go to therapy? It had too many root issues.
What do you call a pine that can’t stop laughing? A giggle tree.
Why did the oak tree join the choir? It had perfect pitch.
How do trees get on the internet? They just log in!
Why do trees never get lost? Because they always follow their roots.
What do you call a tree that loves to play hide and seek? Spruce Lee!
How do you make a tree laugh? You tell it a sappy joke.
What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer.
Why was the tree always getting in trouble? It kept going out on a limb.
What do you call a family of trees? A branch.
How do trees share jokes? They leave them in the bark.
What do you call an oak with an attitude? A knotty tree.
Why did the spruce break up with the cedar? It felt too coniferous.
How do you calm down a stressed tree? You tell it to leave its worries behind.
What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why was the forest always so good at making jokes? It had a great sense of humus.
What did the tree do after it won the lottery? It decided to branch out!
Why are trees so great at solving mysteries? They always get to the root of the problem.
How do trees keep in touch? They always branch out.
What’s a tree’s favorite math operation? Square rooting.
What do you call a tree that loves to argue? A debate-tree.
Why was the tree excited about its new job? It was finally able to branch out.
What did the maple tree say to the pine? “You’re sappy.”
Why was the cedar so good at chess? It had a lot of strategic branches.
How do trees cheer for their favorite team? They root for them.
Why was the forest so noisy? It was full of barking trees.
What did the tree do when it got bored? It just leafed.
Why did the tree become a motivational speaker? To help people find their roots.
What’s a tree’s favorite thing to do on vacation? Visit the woods.
Why do trees hate jokes? Because they always get cut down.
How does a tree make decisions? It leaves it up to branch meetings.

Green with Envy: Jokes That Will Make Others Jealous of Your Humor

Why did the envy-ious plant cross the road? To see what all the fuss was about.
How do you know if a joke is green with envy? It makes you want to turn to another shade!
Why was the green pepper jealous of the red pepper? Because it was always in the spotlight.
How do you calm a jealous pea? You give it some peas and quiet.
Why did the grass feel envious? It kept getting walked over.
What’s a jealous vegetable’s favorite color? Green, of course!
Why was the green apple always jealous? It saw the other fruits getting peeled.
How do you keep a jealous plant happy? You water it with compliments.
Why was the leaf envious of the butterfly? It wanted to fly away too.
What makes envy green? It’s all about chlorophyll.
Why was the salad always jealous? It wanted to be the main course.
How do you make a vegetable jealous? You start carrot-ing about someone else.
Why was the cabbage always jealous? It had too many layers of insecurity.
What’s a green vegetable’s favorite game? Hide and envy.
Why did the cucumber turn green with envy? It couldn’t handle being a pickle.
How do you know if a joke is envious? It’s always picking on you.
Why did the green beans start a fight? They were feeling steamed.
How do you cheer up a jealous pea? You tell it it’s the perfect one.
Why was the lettuce envious? It kept getting tossed around.
What’s the greenest way to express jealousy? Through a vine.
Why do envious plants never grow? They’re too busy plotting against each other.
How do you stop envy from spreading? You weed it out early.
Why was the mint jealous of the basil? It wanted to be in the main course too.
How do jealous plants relax? They take a leaf of faith.
Why did the green bean feel envious? It wasn’t getting picked.
How do you calm a green vegetable down? You give it a little green tea.
What do you call a green that’s jealous of another green? A pea-gree.
Why did the green pepper need therapy? It was feeling a little salty.
How do you make a jealous joke? You just green it up.
What’s a green joke’s biggest weakness? Envy.
Why was the lawn envious? Because it was always being cut down.
How do you know a plant is envious? It starts to wilt under pressure.
What do you call a green vegetable that’s always envious? A green-eyed pea.
Why was the green apple envious of the red apple? It was feeling sour.
How do you handle envy? You just go with the flower.

Green Giants of Comedy: Big Jokes from the Emerald Isle

Why did the leprechaun go to therapy? He was feeling a little green with envy.
What do you call a leprechaun’s favorite plant? A shamrock-n-roll.
Why did the Irish potato feel so happy? It was mashed with love.
How does a leprechaun tell a joke? With a little bit of gold humor.
What’s green and Irish and likes to tell jokes? A shamrock.
Why do leprechauns make good comedians? They always go for the pot of gold.
What’s an Irish vegetable’s favorite joke? A green punchline.
How do you make a leprechaun laugh? You tickle its lucky charms.
Why was the Irish plant always happy? It had a good root in life.
What did the leprechaun say to the four-leaf clover? “You’re my lucky charm!”
How do you keep a leprechaun in suspense? You tell them to wait for the punchline.
Why did the clover never worry? It always felt lucky.
What’s an Irishman’s favorite color? Green, for luck.
Why did the Irishman tell jokes? To make his friends green with laughter.
What do you call a green joke with an Irish twist? A sham-rocker.
Why did the leprechaun get promoted? He was great at handling the green.
How do you catch a leprechaun? You tell it a golden joke.
What’s a leprechaun’s favorite plant? The shamrock.
Why was the Irish vegetable always smiling? It felt lucky.
What do you call a funny Irish plant? A joke-tree.
How do you know if a leprechaun is telling a joke? It’s got a twinkle in its eye.
What did the Irish potato say to the green bean? “Peel yourself together!”
Why did the shamrock make a great comedian? It had a natural charm.
What’s green and laughs a lot? A jolly leprechaun.
How does a leprechaun start a joke? With a lucky punchline.
Why do Irish jokes always go green? Because of the luck factor.
What do you call a lucky joke? A shamrock.
Why was the leprechaun afraid of the joke? It was too golden to handle.
What’s a green joke’s favorite day? St. Patrick’s Day.
How do you make an Irish vegetable laugh? You tell it a potato joke.
Why did the Irish plant always tell jokes? It was a green thumb at heart.
What’s a leprechaun’s favorite joke? One that’s full of gold.
Why was the clover always laughing? It had a lucky streak.
How do you make a leprechaun giggle? You tell it a green joke.
What’s an Irishman’s favorite plant? A funny shamrock.

Broccoli Banter: Crunchy Green Jokes to Make You Laugh

Why did the broccoli break up with the cabbage? It was feeling too stalked.
How do you make broccoli laugh? You tell it a florets of jokes.
Why was the broccoli embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing.
What’s a broccoli’s favorite music genre? Rapini.
Why did the broccoli get promoted? It was a real floret.
How do you know broccoli is in a good mood? It’s full of beans.
What do you call a group of broccoli telling jokes? A bunch of comedians.
Why don’t broccoli like parties? They’re afraid of the dip.
What’s green and tells a joke? A broccoli comedian.
Why was the broccoli always so happy? It knew how to stay cool.
How do you make a broccoli blush? You tell it to leaf it out.
Why did the broccoli cross the road? To get to the florets on the other side.
What do you call a funny broccoli? A laughing sprout.
Why was the broccoli feeling down? It needed a little sprout-ing up.
How do you calm a crying broccoli? You give it some cheddar.
What’s broccoli’s favorite day? Stalk day.
How do you know if broccoli is serious? It stops making florets.
Why was the broccoli always telling jokes? To keep from getting steamed.
What’s a broccoli’s favorite sport? Stalk and field.
Why did the broccoli go to school? To become a floret.
How do you know if broccoli likes a joke? It starts to green with laughter.
Why did the broccoli get a job? To make some extra greens.
What’s a broccoli’s favorite subject? Stalk-tistics.
Why did the broccoli blush? It saw the cauliflower without its florets.
How does broccoli stay healthy? By eating its greens.
What do you call a broccoli who’s always making jokes? A florets of fun.
Why was the broccoli always laughing? It had a great sense of humor.
How do you keep broccoli from getting sad? You tell it a stalk joke.
What do you call a broccoli who sings? A rapping sprout.
Why did the broccoli break up with the cauliflower? It needed some space.
What’s broccoli’s favorite dance? The floret.
How do you make broccoli dance? You play some beet music.
Why was the broccoli so confident? It was always full of beans.
What do you call a broccoli that tells jokes? A florets-ing comedian.
How do you cheer up a broccoli? You tell it to keep its head up.

Greenbacks and Giggles: Jokes About Money and the Color Green

Why did the dollar bill turn green? It was jealous of the credit card.
What do you call a rich plant? A money tree.
How do you make money laugh? You give it a little change.
Why was the penny so upset? It was feeling cheap.
How do you keep money from being lonely? You always have a little green on you.
Why did the Greenback go to the party? It wanted to be in the bank.
What do you call a plant that loves money? A cash crop.
Why was the wallet always smiling? It was full of green.
How do you make a dollar laugh? You give it some cents.
Why did the credit card blush? It saw the dollar bill in its underwear.
What do you call a funny bank? A place full of cents of humor.
Why was the dollar always joking? To keep from getting spent.
What’s a green joke’s favorite currency? The punch-line.
How do you make a greenback laugh? You give it a little tickle.
Why was the dime so confident? It had a lot of cents.
How do you keep money happy? You spend time with it.
Why did the bank teller start laughing? The money was cracking up.
How do you keep a dollar bill entertained? You give it some change.
What’s the greenest joke about money? One that’s full of sense.
Why did the coin go to the therapist? It was feeling a little flipped.
How do you keep a bank happy? You fill it with greenbacks.
Why was the dollar bill always happy? It had a lot of change.
What do you call a broken plant? A penny-less bush.
Why was the Greenback so funny? It always had a good cents of humor.
What’s a funny bank teller’s favorite game? Cash in the Hat.
Why did the penny go to the bank? To make cents.
How do you keep a dollar bill cool? You give it some cents.
Why was the money always telling jokes? To make a little change.
What do you call a rich tree? A money tree.
Why did the credit card go to the comedy club? To see a little interest.
How do you know if a joke is rich? It’s worth every penny.
Why was the coin always laughing? It was two-faced.
What do you call a funny dollar bill? A greenback with a punchline.
Why did the cash register start laughing? It got a little change.
What’s a dollar’s favorite game? Cash me if you can.

Evergreen Ever Laughs: Jokes That Never Get Old

What’s an evergreen tree’s favorite joke? A fir-t joke.
Why do Evergreens never get tired of jokes? They’re always waiting for more.
What do you call an evergreen with a good sense of humor? A fir-ry comedian.
Why did the evergreen tree tell jokes? It wanted to spruce things up.
What’s green, tall, and loves to laugh? An ever-laughing tree.
How do you make an evergreen laugh? You tell it a spruce-tacular joke.
Why was the evergreen always happy? It had deep roots.
What do you call an evergreen with a great punchline? A pinned.
Why was the pine tree always laughing? It had a lot of sap sense.
What’s an evergreen’s favorite game? Hide and pine-seek.
How do you make an evergreen tree smile? You show it some love.
Why was the evergreen tree always telling jokes? To keep from getting bored.
What’s the greenest joke about evergreens? One that’s full of puns.
Why did the fir tree become a comedian? It had a great sense of timber.
What’s a tree’s favorite way to tell a joke? Branching out.
Why was the cedar tree always laughing? It had a lot of humor.
What’s a pine tree’s favorite sport? Spruce-up rugby.
How do you make a fir tree laugh? You tickle its roots.
Why was the spruce always happy? It had a good bark.
What’s an evergreen tree’s favorite holiday? Arbor Day.
How do you know if a tree is evergreen? It’s always laughing.
Why was the pine so confident? It was a stand-up tree.
What do you call a funny spruce tree? A hilar-tree.
How do you make an evergreen tree dance? You give it some sway.
What’s a tree’s favorite color? Evergreen.
Why did the evergreen tree get promoted? It had great growth.
How do you keep an evergreen tree happy? You tell it some sappy jokes.
What’s the best way to cheer up an evergreen? You give it a pineapple.
Why was the fir tree always telling jokes? It was full of humor.
How do you know if a joke is evergreen? It never grows old.
What do you call a pine tree that tells jokes? A comedy pine.
Why was the evergreen so happy? It was rooted in joy.
How do you know if a joke is evergreen? It’s always fresh.
What’s a green joke’s favorite season? Spring.
Why was the tree always telling jokes? To keep its spirit evergreen.

Mythical Greens: Dragon and Fairy Jokes That Are Magic-ally Hilarious

Why did the green dragon tell jokes? To get rid of the scales of boredom.
What’s a fairy’s favorite color? Green, it’s magic-ally refreshing.
How do you make a dragon laugh? You tell it a fiery joke.
Why was the green fairy so popular? She had a twinkling personality.
What’s a green dragon’s favorite day? St. Patrick’s Day.
Why did the fairy start a comedy club? To spread some magic laughter.
How do you make a green dragon smile? You give it a fiery compliment.
What’s a fairy’s favorite joke? A sprinkle of humor.
Why do dragons tell the best jokes? They’re always on fire.
What do you call a green dragon that tells jokes? A comedy fire-breather.
Why was the fairy always laughing? She found life enchanting.
What’s a dragon’s favorite part of a joke? The burning punchline.
How do you make a fairy giggle? You tell her a sparkling joke.
Why was the green dragon so happy? It was always a dragon on the floor.
What’s a fairy’s favorite way to tell a joke? With a magic wand.
Why was the dragon always smiling? It had a magical sense of humor.
What’s a fairy’s favorite game? Hide and sprinkle.
How do you make a dragon laugh? You tell it a hot joke.
Why did the fairy start a joke book? To share some enchanted humor.
What do you call a dragon with a sense of humor? A jolly giant.
Why was the fairy so confident? She had magic up her sleeve.
What’s a dragon’s favorite snack? Fire-roasted jokes.
Why did the fairy join a comedy troupe? To spread sparkles of laughter.
How do you know if a dragon likes a joke? It’s breathing fire with laughter.
What’s a fairy’s favorite type of joke? One that’s full of magic.
Why was the dragon always laughing? It had a hot sense of humor.
How do you make a green fairy laugh? You tell her a whimsical joke.
What’s a dragon’s favorite part of a joke? The fiery punchline.
Why did the fairy start telling jokes? To add some magic to her day.
What do you call a dragon who loves jokes? A giggle-breather.
How do you make a fairy laugh? You tell her a sparkling story.
Why was the dragon always happy? It had a flame of humor.
What’s a fairy’s favorite game? Fairy-tale comedy.
How do you cheer up a dragon? You tell it a burning joke.
Why did the fairy start a laughter club? To spread some enchanted joy.

Green Thumb Giggles: Jokes About Gardening and Plants

What did the gardener say to the plant? “You’re growing on me!”
How do plants flirt? They give out pollen.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
What’s a plant’s favorite type of music? Roots rock.
Why was the plant always happy? It had a sunny disposition.
What did the flower say to the bee? “Stop bugging me!”
How do you make a plant laugh? You give it a potty joke.
Why did the gardener become a comedian? To weed out the bad jokes.
What do you call a plant that’s good at math? A calculator.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful gardener? He was outstanding in his field.
How do you know if a plant is a good comedian? It has a great sense of humor.
Why did the tree go to school? To improve its leaf-ing skills.
What do you call a plant that tells jokes? A pun-derful plant.
How do flowers always stay positive? They bloom where they’re planted.
Why did the flower go to the party? To get a little extra pollen.
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of joke? One with a lot of leaves.
How do you make a vegetable laugh? You tell it a corny joke.
Why did the cactus become a comedian? It was full of prickly humor.
What do you call a plant that tells jokes about itself? A self-seeding comedian.
How do you cheer up a sad plant? Tell it to grow up.
Why did the plant go to the doctor? It had a case of the wilt.
What do you call a funny vine? A twining joke.
How does a gardener greet plants? “Hello, my blooming friend!”
What’s a plant’s favorite exercise? Leaf-y stretches.
Why was the flower always laughing? It had a pollen of humor.
How does a gardener keep busy? By planting ideas.
What did the tree say to the flower? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
How do you make a rose laugh? You give it a petal joke.
Why did the plant go to the party alone? It didn’t have a buddy.
What’s a plant’s favorite type of movie? Rooting for the underdog.
Why did the gardener bring a ladder? To reach new heights of humor.
What do you call a flower that tells jokes? A punny bloom.
How do you get a plant to tell a joke? Seed it in the right direction.
What’s a flower’s favorite type of story? A blooming good tale.
Why was the plant so well-liked? It had a great leaf-ure for humor.