Last Updated on June 5, 2025 by Johnny Peter
Halloween’s creeping closer, and nothing beats the season’s chills like a hearty laugh! This collection of over 300 dad jokes is your go-to for spooky fun—perfect for pumpkin carving, costume parties, or sharing with trick-or-treaters. Packed with puns, one-liners, and silly quips, these jokes cover ghosts, monsters, and more.
They’re lighthearted enough for kids yet clever enough to amuse adults. So, dust off your witch hat, grab a candy apple, and let’s dive into this ghoulishly good lineup. Get ready to cackle louder than a witch on a broomstick—Halloween’s never been this funny!
I. Halloween One-Liner Jokes
- Ghosts make terrible liars—you see right through them
- Pumpkins never argue—they’re too hollow !
- Vampires love baseball—great at catching bats ⚾!
- Witches don’t crash—brooms have stick shifts !
- Skeletons hate colds—bone-chilling stuff ❄️!
- Monsters dance wild—they’re the Boogieman !
- Zombies write music—dead beats
- Mummies stay calm—always wrapped up
- Ghosts love elevators—lifts their spirits
- Pumpkins glow bright—jack-ed up vibes
- Vampires hate sun—bat news for them
- Witches brew trouble—cackle-ing good fun
- Skeletons don’t fight—no guts to try
- Monsters don’t nap—too lively
- Zombies shuffle—life’s a dead-end dance
- Mummies love puns—wrap-tastic humor
- Ghosts party hard—bring the boo-ze
- Pumpkins stay cool—gourd-geous charm
- Vampires bite—fang-tastic timing
- Witches fly high—broom-ing with pride
II. Halloween Q&A Jokes
- What’s a ghost’s dessert? Boo-berry pie
- Why’d the skeleton quit? No heart in it
- What’s a vampire’s fruit? A neck-tarine
- Why’d the witch nap? Too broomed out
- What’s a monster’s pet? Creepy crawlies
- Why’d the zombie fail? Too brain-dead
- What’s a mummy’s wrap? Bandage chic
- Why’d the ghost cry? Feeling boo-hoo sad
- What’s a pumpkin’s sport? Squash
- Why’d the vampire brush? Bat breath
- What’s a skeleton’s tune? “Bone Jovi”
- Why’d the witch win? Best cackle ever
- What’s a zombie’s dance? The shuffle
- Why’d the mummy chill? All wrapped up
- What’s a ghost’s game? Hide and shriek
- Why’d the pumpkin blush? Saw the salad
- What’s a vampire’s job? Blood bank teller
- Why’d the skeleton laugh? Tickled his funny bone
- What’s a witch’s brew? Cackle-juice ☕!
- Why’d the monster glow? Fright-fully bright ✨!
III. Spooky Dad Jokes for Halloween
- I’d tell a ghost joke, but it’d float away
- Skeletons love BBQs—bring the ribs
- Witches don’t diet—love sand-witches
- Vampires hate garlic—stake their claim
- Pumpkins don’t sing—too hollow inside
- Zombies write songs—dead on beat
- Mummies stay quiet—wrapped in thought
- Ghosts love sales—bargain haunters
- Skeletons don’t skydive—no stomach for it
- Witches fly cheap—broom class only
- Vampires read news—love the circulation
- Pumpkins party hard—get lit quick
- Monsters don’t cook—prefer raw talent
- Zombies don’t rush—dead-line free
- Mummies love history—ancient tales
- Ghosts don’t dance—no body to groove
- Skeletons hate rain—bone-soaking wet ☔!
- Witches love teams—broom-ing together
- Vampires chill out—too hot-blooded
- Pumpkins rule fall—gourd times roll
IV. Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Why’d the ghost say boo? To cheer you up
- What’s a skeleton’s toy? A rattle
- Why’d the pumpkin smile? It’s carved happy
- What’s a witch’s pet? A broom-mate
- Why’d the vampire nap? Too bat-tired
- What’s a zombie’s snack? Brain candy
- Why’d the mummy wave? Bandage hello
- What’s a ghost’s treat? Boo-bbles gum
- Why’d the skeleton run? Heard a dog bark
- What’s a pumpkin’s game? Roll and glow
- Why’d the witch giggle? Her broom tickled
- What’s a vampire’s drink? Red juice
- Why’d the monster roar? Just saying hi
- What’s a zombie’s toy? A dead-y bear
- Why’d the mummy rest? All tied up
- What’s a ghost’s pal? A boo-ddy
- Why’d the pumpkin jump? Felt spooky
- What’s a witch’s ride? A broom-cycle
- Why’d the vampire grin? Fang-cy teeth
- What’s a skeleton’s dance? The bone-shake
V. Clever Halloween Puns and Jokes
- Ghosts excel at haunting—spirit-ual pros
- Skeletons don’t fight—lack backbone
- Witches brew success—hex-cellent skills
- Vampires bite fast—fang-tastic timing
- Pumpkins glow bright—gourd-geous shine
- Zombies shuffle on—dead-icated movers
- Mummies stay cool—wrap-ture calm
- Ghosts love puns—boo-tifully clever
- Skeletons play music—bone-afide hits
- Witches fly high—broom-stick wizards
- Vampires read books—circulation fans
- Pumpkins don’t talk—hollow promises
- Monsters mash well—fright-fully fun
- Zombies don’t rush—dead-line dodgers
- Mummies love art—wrap-tastic designs
- Ghosts float free—spirit-ed souls
- Skeletons laugh loud—rattle-ing good
- Witches cast spells—hex-traordinary flair ✨!
- Vampires stay sharp—bite-sized wit
- Pumpkins rule fall—gourd-eous champs
VI. Funny Halloween Jokes for Mature Audiences
- Ghosts love bars—boo-ze flows free
- Skeletons don’t date—no body to love
- Witches brew late—hex-presso shots ☕!
- Vampires hate mornings—bat-tered by sun ☀️!
- Pumpkins get smashed—gourd-eous drunks
- Zombies stagger home—dead tired
- Mummies unwind slow—wrap it up
- Ghosts haunt exes—spirit-ual revenge
- Skeletons skip gym—no muscle to flex
- Witches swipe right—broom-ing romance
- Vampires sip slow—blood-y mary fans
- Pumpkins party hard—lit all night
- Monsters flirt wild—fright-ful charm
- Zombies don’t text—dead air replies
- Mummies stay single—wrapped in issues
- Ghosts love gossip—boo-tiful secrets
- Skeletons chill out—bone-dry humor
- Witches cast shade—hex-y comebacks
- Vampires stay classy—bite-me vibes
- Pumpkins age well—gourd-geous wrinkles
VII. Short Halloween Jokes for Parties
- Ghosts bring boo-ze—party’s alive
- Skeletons rattle—bone-us fun
- Witches cackle—hex-tra laughs
- Vampires bite—fang-cy moves
- Pumpkins glow—lit vibes
- Zombies shuffle—dead cool
- Mummies wrap—bandage bash
- Ghosts float—spirit-ed guests
- Skeletons dance—rattle-ing good
- Witches brew—cackle-ing drinks
- Vampires sip—blood-y fun
- Pumpkins shine—gourd-eous night
- Monsters roar—fright-ful cheers
- Zombies groove—dead-beat tunes
- Mummies chill—wrap-tastic time
- Ghosts haunt—boo-tiful party
- Skeletons clink—bone-dry toasts
- Witches fly—broom-ing party
- Vampires grin—fang-tastic night
- Pumpkins rule—gourd-times roll
VIII. Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry—it’s Halloween
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Bone. Bone appetit—skeleton’s here
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch way to candy?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Fang. Fang you for the treats
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Gourd. Gourd evening, tricksters
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Dead. Dead tired zombie here
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Wrap. Wrap it up, mummy’s home
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Spook. Spook-tacular night ahead
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Rattle. Rattle your bones, skeleton’s in
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Hex. Hex-cuse me, witch calling
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Bat. Bat-ter open the door
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Jack. Jack-o’-lantern lighting up
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Roar. Roar-some monster’s here
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Brain. Brain-y zombie knocking
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Bandage. Bandage you a treat
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo-ze. Boo-ze for the ghosts
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Cackle. Cackle-ing witch arrives
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Bite. Bite me, vampire’s here
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Glow. Glow-ing pumpkin’s knocking
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Spirit. Spirit-ed guest is here
IX. Silly Halloween Jokes for Everyone
- Ghosts love naps—boo-tiful dreams
- Skeletons don’t swim—bone-dry fun
- Witches giggle loud—hex-tra silly
- Vampires trip—bat-tered feet
- Pumpkins roll—gourd-eous goofs
- Zombies stumble—dead-funny falls
- Mummies trip—wrap-tastic flops
- Ghosts float high—boo-ncy vibes
- Skeletons juggle—bone-kers fun
- Witches spill brew—hex-y mess
- Vampires sneeze—bat-chy colds
- Monsters slip—fright-ful flops
- Zombies dance—dead-silly moves
- Mummies unravel—wrap-ping laughs
- Ghosts play tag—boo-tiful chaos
- Skeletons tumble—bone-afide silliness
- Witches fly wild—broom-stick goofs
- Vampires hiccup—fang-tastic fun
- Pumpkins grin—gourd-geous sillies
X. Ghostly Jokes for Halloween Fun
- Ghosts love parties—bring the boo-ze
- Why’d the ghost sing? Sheet music fan
- Ghosts don’t fight—spirit-ual peace
- What’s a ghost’s snack? Boo-bbles gum
- Ghosts float free—boo-tiful moves
- Why’d the ghost blush? Caught haunting
- Ghosts love games—hide and shriek
- What’s a ghost’s tea? Boo-tea
- Ghosts don’t cook—no body to feed
- Why’d the ghost dance? Spirit-ed groove
- Ghosts love puns—boo-tifully funny
- What’s a ghost’s ride? A roller-ghoster
- Ghosts don’t lie—see through them
- Why’d the ghost cheer? Boo-sting vibes
- Ghosts love beaches—Boo-hamas bound
- What’s a ghost’s nose? Full of boo-gers
- Ghosts haunt well—spirit-ual pros
- Why’d the ghost laugh? Boo-ncy humor
- Ghosts love elevators—lifts their spirits ↑!
- What’s a ghost’s pal? A boo-ddy forever
XI. Halloween Jokes to Tell in the Dark
- Why’d the ghost whisper? Boo-tiful secrets
- Skeletons glow—bone-afide shine
- Witches brew quiet—hex-y whispers
- Vampires bite soft—fang-tastic hush
- Pumpkins flicker—gourd-eous dark
- Zombies shuffle low—dead-silent steps
- Mummies creep—wrap-tastic stealth
- Ghosts float near—boo-ncy shadows
- Skeletons rattle—bone-dry echoes
- Witches cackle—hex-tra spooky
- Vampires lurk—bat-tered night
- Pumpkins glow—jack-ed up dark
- Monsters growl—fright-ful tones
- Zombies moan—dead-ly whispers
- Mummies unwind—wrap-ping silence
- Ghosts haunt—spirit-ed chills
- Skeletons clank—bone-chilling sounds
- Witches fly—broom-stick swoosh
- Vampires sip—blood-y quiet
- Pumpkins grin—gourd-geous gloom
XII. Classic Halloween Jokes and Riddles
- What’s a ghost’s home? A boo-tiful haunt
- Why’d the skeleton stay? No guts to leave
- What’s a witch’s ride? A broom-stick shift
- Why’d the vampire bite? Fang-cy a snack
- What’s a pumpkin’s light? A jack-o’-lantern
- Why’d the zombie roam? Dead-set on fun
- What’s a mummy’s wrap? Bandage chic
- Why’d the ghost float? Spirit-ed lift
- What’s a skeleton’s song? “Bone Jovi”
- Why’d the witch brew? Hex-tra flavor
- What’s a vampire’s drink? Blood-y good
- Why’d the pumpkin glow? Gourd-eous shine
- What’s a monster’s dance? The mash
- Why’d the zombie shuffle? Dead-beat rhythm
- What’s a mummy’s tale? Wrap-tastic lore
- Why’d the ghost cheer? Boo-sting fun
- What’s a skeleton’s pet? A bone-afide pup
- Why’d the witch cackle? Hex-y humor
- What’s a vampire’s fear? Stake-outs
- Why’d the pumpkin roll? Gourd-y good times
XIII. Family-Friendly Halloween Jokes
- Ghosts say boo—cheerful spirits
- Skeletons rattle—bone-us fun
- Witches fly—broom-ing family
- Vampires grin—fang-tastic smiles
- Pumpkins shine—gourd-eous glow
- Zombies dance—dead-silly steps
- Mummies hug—wrap-tastic love
- Ghosts play—boo-tiful games
- Skeletons laugh—bone-dry giggles
- Witches brew—hex-tra treats
- Vampires sip—blood-y juice
- Pumpkins roll—gourd-y fun
- Monsters roar—fright-ful hugs
- Zombies shuffle—dead-fun moves
- Mummies rest—wrap-ping calm
- Ghosts float—spirit-ed joy
- Skeletons dance—rattle-ing cheer
- Witches giggle—hex-y family
- Vampires wave—fang-cy hellos
- Pumpkins grin—gourd-geous vibes
XIV. Halloween Jokes for Trick or Treaters
- Ghosts give candy—boo-tiful treats
- Skeletons share—bone-us sweets
- Witches toss—hex-tra goodies
- Vampires offer—fang-cy snacks
- Pumpkins hand—gourd-eous loot
- Zombies drop—dead-ly candy
- Mummies gift—wrap-tastic treats
- Ghosts say boo—spirit-ed sweets
- Skeletons rattle—bone-dry candy
- Witches brew—hex-y surprises
- Vampires bite—fang-tastic haul
- Pumpkins glow—jack-ed up treats
- Monsters roar—fright-ful goodies
- Zombies shuffle—dead-sweet loot
- Mummies unwrap—bandage candy
- Ghosts float—boo-ncy treats
- Skeletons clink—bone-us haul
- Witches fly—broom-stick sweets
- Vampires grin—blood-y goodies
- Pumpkins shine—gourd-geous stash
XV. Halloween Jokes to Make You Smile
- Ghosts cheer—boo-tiful grins
- Skeletons laugh—bone-dry smiles
- Witches cackle—hex-tra joy
- Vampires beam—fang-tastic glee
- Pumpkins glow—gourd-eous smirks
- Zombies grin—dead-ly happy
- Mummies smile—wrap-tastic cheer
- Ghosts float—spirit-ed laughs
- Skeletons rattle—bone-us fun
- Witches giggle—hex-y smiles
- Vampires shine—blood-y grins
- Pumpkins beam—jack-ed up joy
- Monsters roar—fright-ful smiles
- Zombies dance—dead-sweet glee
- Mummies chill—wrap-ping laughs
- Ghosts play—boo-ncy grins
- Skeletons clank—bone-dry cheer
- Witches fly—broom-stick smiles
- Vampires wink—fang-cy fun
- Pumpkins grin—gourd-geous vibes
